Valentines is Bullshit!
There I said it.
While scrolling through my numerous feeds for the day’s news, basking myself in all the piping hot tea I’ve missed while having eight hours of mirtazapine induced sleep I noticed my usual newsfeeds had been hijacked with declarations of love, commitment and public displays of boring missionary sex.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-love, I love, love and it’s not because I’m single either, I’m happy being single. I’ve just always found the concept of Valentine’s Day a little bit repugnant.
I mean It’s not like we're still basting vestal virgins with blood from a goat’s arse, putting their names in a bucket and pairing them off to a bunch of local fuckboys in an Asda carpark, so what’s the point? Is it a day to celebrate love? Or a day designed to make every singleton feel totally inadequate for being alone? For me, it’s quite obviously both and whether you’re single or in a relationship, you have to admit its cookie-cutter bullshit.
I might just be cynical, but it’s just how I feel. People are always telling me I’ll feel differently if I fall in love, however, I’ve been in love, truly madly head of heels in love and if he handed me a stuffed bear and box chocolates just because some outdated social construct told him to I’d probably vomit. I mean for all means buy me gifts, every day if you have too but just make sure they’re more Valentino than Valentines.
When you’re a couple, you have countless celebrations, holidays and traditions to show you love each other all while making single people feel slightly inferior. In a way, you don’t need another day, shouldn’t you just be loving each other and showering each other with your commitment anyway? I don’t know, I’m not claiming to be an expert but it makes total sense to me. If you only appreciate each other on a holiday or an anniversary is it really love? I get the human desire for love, for companionship, but it’s really not everything.
Easter excluded because anyone can enjoy a chocolate egg without fear or judgement, social media should be avoided at any holiday time, or the very least come with a disclaimer “14th Feb – Log on with caution, may cause vomit, irritation and mild depression.”
Valentine’s day isn’t all that bad, it is the one day a year I get peace from the guy’s in my DM’s, mostly because they’re out for dinner at Ménagerie with their girlfriends, wives etc. I’m always of the opinion that those guy’s always buy the best presents when St Valentine beckons. He may have been with me the night before, but that’s a lovely Michael Kors bag Sarah, said no one ever.
You might think this is the reason, I was scorned and now I’m incapable of romantic feelings but It’s not,
I’m not a jilted lover, nor am I jaded because the man I’m in love with is in love with someone who isn’t me.
When I transitioned I did so fully aware that I may never marry, may never have children, that my life would be completely different from those of my friends and family. Nine years on I know better, I may get married, I may have children if I decide I want those things but point is I’m okay If I don’t have any of those things, I chose my Valentine a long time, so whether I’m in a relationship, married, or your friendly, neighbourhood sexually liberated spinster I’ll always be my own Valentine and that’s ok.
The idea that we are only somebody unless we are loved is 90’s propaganda and we deserve more than that. Opening your heart to yourself, well that’s true love. So, if your single this Valentines, be your own date, stay in and order a Chinese, get in a bubble bath and light some candles and enjoy a good book like me or get dressed up, grab your other single friends and dance till February 15th and normal life resumes.
Cause whether your alone, claimed, lost or found, Valentines is like using a double-sided dildo, no matter what end you’re on your fucked either way. So, you might aswell enjoy it.